“This is Sol. He’s really quiet so he won’t be bothering you anytime soon.”

That’s how I was introduced to this new coworker. Despite that introduction, I became pretty close to that coworker and would hang out with him, much more often than I did with anyone else in the office.

Why do people feel like pointing out the seemingly obvious.. and doing so in such a light manner? Is it funny? Does it do anyone any good? Is it an attempt at humour?

Well. It’s not funny to me.

Let me try your method.

“Hey, this is Wendy. She’s like 300 lbs so you’d better get out of her way.”

“This is Shannon. She has a funny accent. Every time she speaks, I still have to ask her to repeat everything she said twice to make out what she’s saying.”

See what I mean? Why point out the obvious like it’s something smart to say? Introverted or quiet people have feelings too.

People often tell others not to open up an old wound.

I know. I really tried, too. But sometimes, many times, an old wound opens up by itself. Maybe it is a wound that never really truly healed. And then the slightest of movement opens it up.. and it starts hurting all over. Again.

It is not really exactly my fault. I went a day without really thinking too much about her.. and she started talking to me. In my dream. And what did she say in the dream?

“Do not ever say anything of flatter to me again.”

I wasn’t too sure what it means, but it’s a dream. And I didn’t actually see her. She sent me some messages and that was one of them. I think she wanted to make sure I will have no chance with her at all.

I read that one should always leave a sanctuary for himself. A place that other people cannot get to.. a place that one can really, really isolate himself from all outer forces. Being an introvert, such a sanctuary is found easily.. being in his own silence.

I loved this girl. I still love her even after she told me to move on. I.. I let her into my world. I invited her to every place I usually go to. I even let her in to my sanctuary.. We shared silence. And we could always break the silence and extra our deepest thoughts. She became an inseparable part of me. My being.

And one day.. she left me.

I’d like to believe it was not her choice. It was not. It was heavily influenced by her mom. But on the other hand, no one can really force another person to decide something, right? I am not sure. I think it makes me feel better when I believe she was forced to do it.. but then my inner self would tell me not to be a fool.

“Please move on.”
“Move on.”
“Do not contact me anymore.”

And that’s the last I’ve heard of her.

I love you, Anne.

There are many times when people like to equate introversion with other qualities. For example, when a guy is simply quiet or like to keep things to himself, people might say the guy is shy.

While it could be true, introverts are not always shy. I am not.

I’m not shy. Why? Well what is shyness? Shyness is usually defined as the discomfort, inhibition, or fear in interpersonal situation. I don’t experience those kind of feelings when I interact with people. I am simply not interested, and am more passive when it comes to talking with strangers, or people who aren’t really trying to engage me into a conversation.

I am very comfortable spending time with another person without saying a word. I don’t believe that words, or voices are necessary in communication. There are lot of things you can learn about a person even without talking.

Not to mention the majority of the conversations are meaningless anyway. There is no real content. Many times it is just there to make certain people feel more comfortable. It is as though.. the sound of someone talking is somehow pleasing to the ears. Not me. If what you say does not improve the silence, why say it at all?

But many people disagree.

And I have been punished for that. For life.

I am an introvert.

..Well, that’s kind of a given seeing the name of the blog is “Being an Introvert.” People always wonder if people are born an introvert, or if it’s a choice, or if it’s influenced by other factors.

Personally my experience is, all of the above. I have this believe that people can always choose to be something that they’re not.. and since most people define others by their actions and behaviours, what a person is intrinsically really does not matter. It is how you are perceived as by other people that really define you.

Let’s talk about me. Well yes, since this is my blog, let’s talk more about me. I believe I was born an introvert. But, in today’s world, people are encouraged to be extroverts. School wants their students to get to know people, and mingle.. and those who don’t, are usually trouble because it’s hard for the teachers to “know” them.

I was very outgoing when I was younger, because I was taught to do that, and that gave me good grades. When I immigrated to Canada when I was around 13, I started to do things my own way. Not to mention it became harder to mingle with others when most people outright discriminate against you because your English is not as great. I became more introverted and kept things to myself.. and I enjoyed it.

So that’s my story.